The Teachings of Dr Nancy GayLove
by HellsBelles2012
Summary: Come along for the ride with therapist extraordinaire, Dr. Nancy GayLove! Who knows, you might even learn something... The Teachings of Dr. Nancy GayLove is a collaboration between maryhell and bellmeer under their collaboration penname, HellsBelles2012.
1. Chapter 1

TEASER…

THE TEACHINGS OF DR. NANCY GAYLOVE

Well, hello there, my name is Dr. Nancy Gaylove... Yes, before you can ask, I changed it by Depol, before I started my practice... My practice you ask, well, I run a clinic for those who want to learn or improve on their love-making skills. Business is booming and let me just say; I adore my job —well, most of the time.

As my name suggests, I specialize in gay love. I do have students of all persuasions— it would be financial suicide not to—but my passion is showing gay guys how to appreciate and get full pleasure out of each other. Part of me envies those that have a prostate, I really could go on and on about its joys, and don't even get me started on my reading habits…


	2. Show them I know my shit

**DISCLAIMER: **All the characters from Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. All we own is one Dr. Nancy GayLove… or does she own us?

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Please note that this chapter is unbeta'd so all mistakes are proudly owned by HellsBelles2012!

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**HAPPY 20****th**** ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR 30****th**** BIRTHDAY, HARRYTWIFAN, BETA EXTRAORDINAIRE!**

**WE LUVS YA**

We're eternally grateful for all that you do for us, so we've written you a 5 chapter fic, one for each decade

(though, Lord knows, you could twist our arms to extend it if Dr. Nancy and the boys are having fun... umm, we mean, learning lots…)

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_BTW, harrytwifan, we ask that you squint at the screen so you can't see our comma sluttage and our inability to know where to end a sentence…_

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**CHAPTER 01: SHOW THEM I KNOW MY SHIT…**

Well, hello there, my name is Dr. Nancy Gaylove... Yes, before you can ask, I changed it by Depol, before I started my practice... My practice you ask, well, I run a clinic for those who want to learn, or improve on, their love-making skills. Business is booming and let me just say; I adore my job —well, most of the time.

As my name suggests, I specialize in gay love. I do have students of all persuasions— it would be financial suicide not to—but my passion is showing gay guys how to appreciate and get full pleasure out of each other. Part of me envies those that have a prostate, I really could go on and on about its joys, and don't even get me started on my reading habits…

Sometimes, I have a couple come in, and I must admit I shudder to look at them, knowing the images that will be ingrained on my brain by the time they leave. Those are the times I need to bring out the heavy artillery in debriefing skills, but I sure as hell ain't gonna tell you my method of cleansing myself of those images and relaxing... that's my secret, and I intend to keep it. I share enough of myself and my education with my patients, or perhaps a better word would be students.

My service is completely confidential, and I have a number of, what I like to call, tools, at my disposal. My office, as well as some adjoining rooms, are completely sound proofed. I even have one room that has been completely emptied of furniture. It just contains pillows (with fully washable covers, of course) and a whole set of mood and lighting options.

Anyhow, I have a couple coming in: Jasper Hale and Edward Cullen. You'll have to excuse me as I'd best take a look at their files.

**Name: Jasper Hale**

_Nice name - rolls off the tongue._

**Marital status: Single **

_Good._

**Age: Twenty one **

_Brilliant – legal._

**Orientation: Gay **

_There's a good boy, gay men are so much more fun to deal with and often much more adventurous than many of their straight counterparts._

**Religion: Former Quaker **

_Now that's interesting. Quakers preach that love comes in many forms and it's the depth of love that counts. But in some communities there's a difference between tolerance and acceptance. Plain dress, too, is usually a requirement for a whole host of reasons from equality and showing a united front, to a form of mask, hiding the true person underneath to the outside world._

**Notes: Father died when Jasper was seven. Mother moved them away after the FBI hid a witness in their community and it all went pear-shaped. Mother decided that they'd learn about the world together, but still kept to certain practices like dress code and the teaching of tolerance, however, she would not allow him to take part in any Sex Ed classes.**

_Amazing, I was beginning to think she was a forward thinking mother. I guess she thought that if he didn't know what to do, he wouldn't get curious. Wrong assumption, my dear__…__ oh, so wrong_

**Described as painfully shy and reserved. Not happy with his body or how to use it, keeping it covered up as a form of barrier. Has read a lot of books, but finds them confusing.**

_Gotta admit, there ain't nothing like hands on experience. YAY me –love him already. Hmm, on to the other half of the equation._

**Name: Edward Cullen**

_Not bad, sounds kind of mysterious._

**Marital status: Single **

_Excellent, at least no one is playing hide the sausage. That will make my job a whole lot easier._

**Age: Twenty one **

_Brilliant – also legal._

**Orientation: Gay **

_Okay, so they're both young, gay, and legal. You'd think they'd be fucking and experimenting like a pair of rabbits on steroids. What's the problem, boys?_

**Religion: Lapsed Catholic **

_Hmm, could this be an issue? Difference of belief? _

**Notes: Comes from a middle income family. Both parents living. Currently studying Astrophysics on a sports scholarship. **_Well, there's a conundrum: a jock who likes to exercise his brain muscle. Maybe these boys have been over thinking things and getting their tightie whities in a twist. _**Described as being confident with good social skills. No self-esteem issues evident. Happy with his body. Acts a bit of a clown. **_So, Edward, are you as happy with yourself as you make out, or are you using humor to hide insecurities and keep everyone at arm's length?_

I have to say people; I'm sitting back in my armchair wondering what brought these two together: a painfully shy Quaker boy with body issues and a confident jock/clown. _How on earth did these two ever get together, let alone be 'together' together enough to want to work out some sexual issues?_ _My afternoon is looking to be more interesting by the minute. _

The buzzer on my office phone chimes and the irritating tone of my secretary, Hope Morecock, (delightful name, isn't it? I must admit I hired her for her name alone. Perhaps I should have interviewed her first, though…) fills the room, making me wince as she informs me that my two o'clock's are in the waiting room. I really must organize some non-verbal way of getting her to communicate. Carrier pigeon, maybe?

Stretching my fingers, I fill my lungs slowly and steadily in my pre-patient warm-up routine (yes, I have one). A quick stretch of my neck and with my professional face firmly in place, (yes, I have one of those, too) I'm ready. I buzz Hope Morecock, (I just can't help myself, I have to say her name in full every time I address her) asking her to send the boys in.

I look up as the door opens. _Well, hello, sex-on-a-stick._ Judging by the confident athleticism of his stance, I guess him to be the Edward Cullen half of the equation. He's dressed oh-so beautifully casual in gear that shows off his toned body and strong arms—black, tight jeans that hug his thighs, _oh my god thighs_, white sneakers and a T-shirt with, _Get off my Dick_, on the front. _Hmm, correct me if I'm wrong, my dear, but I thought the idea was to get someone on, what I am sure is, that delicious dick of yours. _

My gaze moves beyond him to the slightly shorter man who has followed him in. _Oh my, sex-on-a-stick # 2._ With any luck these two will need lots of my help…

By comparison his dress is rather plain and in keeping with his Quaker heritage. He's wearing brown pants and a white, long-sleeved button down; his sneakers, though, are the same as Edward's, so there is some evidence of influence. His hair is dirty blond with a slight wave. It's jaw length, and judging from his profile, he probably keeps it that length in order to hide behind it.

What's got me weak at the knees; apart from the fact that as they hesitate in the doorway, Edward tucks Jasper's hair behind his ears, giving him a blinding smile, is that the smile is returned. And what a breathtaking smile it is—when Jasper smiles his whole face lights up. However, it quickly disappears when he spies me observing them, paused in my doorway. The look that replaces it is somber, his intelligent eyes searching, obviously curious as to what a sex therapist's office looks like.

Some people expect me to have sex toys displayed on every shelf and hanging on the walls, like pictures. Oh, I have toys alright, and they will come out to play, God willing. _Please, God let them be willing_. But love and sex is not all about toys. I do have some artfully done posters on my walls, though, showing erogenous zones and some wonderfully erotic 'positions'.

_I wonder what positions I might get to see them in—stop it, girl! Naughty, give yourself a slap. They might not want to go that far._

Sometimes it's easy to be professional and… sometimes it's not. This is a NOT time. Of course, the NOT times are the main reason I love my job so much! Helping these two beauties get their mojo on is going to be rewarding, to say the least.

Mr. Cullen takes three paces into the room and then stops, waiting for his boyfriend to catch up to him. He takes the smaller man's hand gently but possessively in his, shortening his stride to match that of his partner as they continue across the large expanse of my room to the two armchairs facing my desk. I suppress my pleased smile— we are off to a good start. The jock genuinely cares about Quaker. Even while seated in separate chairs their hands remain linked. _Awwww, bless them._

Jasper looks to be rather fit too. Nowhere near a jock, mind you, but there's no excess from what I can see—and believe me, I'm looking hard_._

"Hello, my name is, Nancy… welcome to my practice."

Edward gives a strong, "Hello, Nancy," in return, while Jasper gives a raised eyebrow smile and a small wave with the hand that isn't attached to Edward's.

"Well… first of all, let me be frank and put my cards on the table so that you know what you are getting yourself into. You can then decide whether or not I am the right person to help you, okay?"

_OH, PLEASE, GOD, I'M ON MY KNEES, BEGGING YOU… PLEASE LET THEM WANT ME TO HELP THEM._

With nods of approval, I continue, "My sessions are… mostly practical. I won't expect you to undress unless you want to, in the case of those that don't, I tend to talk and the couples go home to practice in private, though it has to be said that there are some things that can be best experienced and guided in the office."

Edward and Jasper thankfully are taking it all in.

_If only they could be stars in the Corbin Fisher house, I'd be guaranteed to see one of them at least __**take it all in**__._

"From years of observation, however, I find that the best results do come from more hands-on sessions, with me as a guide. Believe me, I won't say, 'okay, boys, strip down and let me see your technique.' I am more subtle than that. You'll hardly know I'm there, really."

_But what a sight that would be and I'd love it if you forgot I was there..._

My last comment earns me a small laugh from both. "It is a gradual process."

"In this first session I'd like to hear from you boys, that is if you decide that I am the right person for you and your needs. I'd like to cover some of the simple things such as how you met, why you are here, how long you've been together, and what you'd like to gain from our sessions. I'd also like to go over some basic terminology so that we are all operating from the same page should you choose to continue. Once we have those things out of the way I will, of course, need to know what type of session you'd prefer."

_Well done, Nancy! You said all that without so much as a hint of a drool._

I lean back in my chair and observe the silent communication that's happening between the pair of them—a series of raised eyebrows, barely perceptible nods and squeezing of hands and one shoulder shrug. Not surprisingly Edward assumes the role of spokesperson.

"We'd like to continue, Nancy and we'll go for the hands-on sessions."

_Eureka! Hallelujah! There is a God! _

For the next twenty minutes I ask questions, trying to draw Jasper into the conversation as well with mixed success. In summary: they met when Edward got given Jasper's name by another student when he needed some tutoring in essay writing—apparently Edward was good at the technical lingo, but not at painting the whole picture—and needed tuition . According to Edward it was love at first sight—his words were met with a delightful blush and adoring gaze from Jasper which was just too fucking cute for words. Also, according to Edward, he intentionally made slow progress in learning the necessary skills in order to spend more time with Jasper (Jasper's quick response of, "You're the best student I've ever tutored," had Edward leaning over to kiss his blushing cheek and me squeezing my thighs together.) After three months Edward plucked up the courage to ask Jasper out on a date and they'd been together ever since, which was nine months.

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling when my confident jock faltered when it came to discussing their sexual issues. To fully appreciate the situation I really must replay it to you, verbatim:

"Nancy, Jasper is shy about his body and he really shouldn't be. Every inch of him is gorgeous and he has the biggest, most beautiful cock I've ever seen," Edward volunteers enthusiastically, all but gushing, "He could be a porn star. It's like 10" long, cut, with this huge plum-shaped head. It's fucking humungous. It's like every gay man's dream cock. The cock to end all cocks… they should erect a monument to it!"

I glance at Jasper and try not to look at his crotch... much. Not surprisingly his chin is resting on his hand, but even with his head hung so low I can see his cheeks are flushed crimson. His hanging head, of course, keeps leading my eyes down to the juncture of his thighs. _Hmm, we have a python in the house!_

"Jasper?" I prod gently.

Without looking at me, his gaze locked to his seemingly fascinating sneakers, he stutters, "Edward's penis is beautiful too. It's… it's circumcised… and… and its 8 1/4" long… I measured it… and the head… well, the head is a really pretty shade of pink… I really like it." _This day just keeps getting better and better! What's better than one snake in the house? Two snakes! I dub thee, Peter the python and Jake the snake._

"Well done, boys. I'm proud of you!" _and salivating_. "We've established that you both like each other's equipment. That's a good start. So tell me, what exactly is the problem?"

Silence.

_Keep it professional, Nancy. DO NOT ask them to strip… yet. _"Boys, I need you to talk to me, if I'm going to be able to help you."

I keep looking between the boys, hoping for an answer. Again, silent communication passes between them with Jasper giving the go ahead with a nod. Par for the course its Edward who volunteers their problem, speaking so fast I struggle to catch all of his words, and though, Edward may be the mouthpiece, Jasper most definitely has a level of control over them.

"Jasper's scared he'll hurt me if he tops, even though I'm not a virgin and I've said I want to at least try, and he is a virgin, so the size of my dick has had his rear clamming up tighter than a duck's ass on the occasions that we've got to the point of slipping past the ring of fire so to speak."

No wonder Jasper's clamming up if he's calling it the 'ring of fire' – I guess that's the joking jock in him, still this means... _Butt Prep Therapy! My favorite. Dear Lord, all my Christmases have come at once._

"So can I assume from that, boys, that you aren't experiencing any problems with mutual masturbation, as in; giving each other handjobs, and blowjobs?" _Please say that you'd like some coaching to improve your skills._

"Well, we'd certainly appreciate any, umm, tips you might have, Nancy. Both of us are open to learning new things, aren't we, Jas?" _Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!_

"Yes," squeaks Jasper, eyes still glued to those snazzy sneakers.

"Excellent, now that I'm filled in on your history and we've established the parameters of your therapy, I'd like to go over some simple terminology with you." _Fuck, I sound so professional. I am the doyenne of sex therapy! Even with erect nipples (thank God for T-shirt bras) and a wet pussy (thank God for Tena panty liners) I can still talk the talk!_ "Please pay attention, boys. This may be the most boring bit of our sessions together but it is important. Okay?"

"Yes, Nancy," they both chime and my, don't their cute little matching blushes look lovely.

"Terrific. Now firstly, let's define Sexual Pleasure. I'm sure you both realize it's the feeling we have when we are sexually aroused. It's our body's response to sexual stimulation. One thing to note is that it's not only touch that can arouse us; it may be that we become aroused by something we see, hear, taste, or even smell. Another thing to note is that it does not necessarily have to happen in the real world—it can occur from our imaginings or dreams. I will state the obvious and say that it can happen when our erogenous zones are touched, whether by ourselves or by our partner. It can also happen when we touch our partner's erogenous zones and witness their pleasure. With me so far, boys?" _I'm turned on right now, how about you two? Hhm is that a little movement in the corral I'm seeing?_

"Yes, Nancy," murmurs Edward, Jasper manages a nod.

"Excellent. At this point I would like to point out something that often escapes eager young men. Your penis and your ass are not your only erogenous zones. I would encourage you both to explore each other's bodies. You might be surprised to find just how much of a turn on it is to have your partner stroke your arms, legs, feet, ears, necks, backs, fingers, and nipples. Men's nipples are just as sensitive as women's—a pebble of info that is often overlooked. In fact that is the first homework assignment I am setting you both. I want you to leave each other's cocks alone until our next session and explore the rest of each other's bodies with both your hands and tongues or any implements such as feathers and scarves etc you might like to use. Pay attention to each other, have fun with it. _If only I could be a fly on the wall._ When we next speak I want the pair of you to be able to tell me five erogenous zones you discovered in each other. Is that clear? Any questions?" _Okay, definitely a little trouser action happening now. Maybe next session they'll be ready to demo their findings…_

Two sets of nodding heads. Two sets of deepening matching blushes. Adorable.

"Lovely. Next I'd like to talk to you about the Sexual Response Cycle. In simple terms it's the pattern of how we react to sexual stimulation. There are five steps within the cycle. In order they are: Desire, excitement, plateau, orgasm, and last but not least, resolution. Sounds charming, doesn't it?"

Two sets of nods. Two sets of shuffling feet. These two are fast becoming my favorites and I haven't even gotten them naked yet.

"We experience all or just some of them each and every time we have a sexual experience, and a sexual experience can be either masturbating by ourselves, or a shared experience with our partner." _No need to ask this shy pair if they bring in third parties! _"Not every sexual experience will see all five steps of the cycle achieved and it's important to understand that not all need to be completed for a feeling of sexual fulfillment to occur. Some of our body's responses to sexual stimuli are obvious to us, others not so much. For each individual their level of awareness of the various signs of arousal differs. How our body responds also varies from one sexual experience to another, and is influenced by our age, health, and mood." _Fuck, I sound knowledgeable… wait, I am knowledgeable._

"Okay, let's take each phase and have a closer look at it. As I said the first stage is Desire. What exactly does that mean?"

I looked at them both hoping for some interaction, but they sit there like deer in the headlights, but hanging on my every word as though I am Stephen Hawking at a space convention.

Taking a sip of water from the bottle I always have on my desk, I continue, "Basically it's when we find ourselves having erotic or sexual thoughts. This can have been brought about by seeing the object of our desires, hearing them, smelling their cologne, or touching them, even innocently. It's the "wanting" stage. It can also be brought about by thought or fantasies and in those instances may stimulate a desire to masturbate. How are we going boys, you still with me?"

"Yes," squeaks Edward, avoiding my eyes which is excellent because it affords me the opportunity to check out the bulge his 8 ¼" is creating in those deliciously tight black jeans of his.

Another nod from my shy Quaker boy and if his chin dips any lower it will be resting on the enormous platform his bulge has now created in his looser brown pants.

These two are beyond adorable._ Holy fuck, is that Peter the Python snaking down his thigh?_

"Wonderful. Er… Well, moving right along from the Desire Phase, which, by the way, can go on for months. For example, Edward, the three months between meeting Jasper, falling in love with him and finally asking him out would be considered a prolonged Desire Phase. Anyway now we come to the Excitement Phase which is where our body reacts to desire. Can you tell me some of the signs a man may experience or exhibit during the Excitement Phase?"

Silence.

I'm determined to get an answer this time.

"Boys?" _By the time I'm finished with you both you will be ready for the Dirty Talk Olympics!_

"Umm, your dick gets hard," mutters Edward, finding his sneakers as fascinating as Jasper is finding his.

"Yes, that's one sign. Jasper, can you think of any?"

"Umm, your heart beats faster."

"Wonderful, yes, it most certainly does, and did you know that your blood pressure also rises?"

Two shaking heads.

As this is our first session I will help them out a little.

"Some other signs are muscle contractions; some voluntary, some not. Your scrotum thickens and your testes draw in closer to your body, your nipples harden and in some men they even get what's called a Sex Flush which is a reddening of the skin over the chest and neck area."

"Edward gets that," whispers Jasper. Oh how wonderful. My shy boy has volunteered some information.

"You do, too," mutters Edward, giving Jasper a sidelong glance and I notice he gives his boy's hand a little squeeze.

"Oh, I didn't know…" _Oh my, this boy is just too sweet and innocent for words._

"Wonderful! Congratulations! That means you are succeeding in turning each other on."

There's more than a little squirming and lots of blushing. I admit, I'm having to work at not squirming myself.

"This phase can last as briefly or as long as you want before moving onto the Plateau Phase. Sounds dreadful doesn't it? Boring even. Trust me, though, it's anything but boring. This is the phase where our bodies experience prolonged, intense sexual arousal. It's maintained by physical stimulation such as the stroking or rubbing of erogenous zones, and of course, intercourse; be it anal or oral. Now, many of the signs of the Excitement Phase are also present in this phase such as increased heart rate and blood pressure as well as more rapid breathing. Muscle tension, the tightening and drawing up of your testes, and the Sexual Flush may also continue. Another sign that presents itself at this time is the Cowper's Gland begins secreting pre-ejaculate, and did you know that your glans, or head, actually enlarges? It's not just your penile shaft that fills out."

Their sneakers really must be beyond interesting with the way they keep studying them. They've both also found the need to wipe their hands down their pants more than once. Sweaty palms, huh? Guess they're a little pumped up, and this is only the 'prove to you I know my shit session'.

"At times, and here some communication is necessary between you both, you will want to prolong this phase as long as possible; at others you will want to speed ahead like Olympic sprinters to the next phase which is called the Orgasm Phase, but I like to refer to it as the Hallelujah or Holy Fuck moment, as it's usually what I want to scream out at the time!"

Two sets of snickers. Good their humor is still intact.

"Yes, I probably don't need to explain this phase in much detail but for the sake of professionalism; I hope you will bear with me."

Two sets of nods and even a peak through the lashes by Edward… and, yes, two wonderfully prominent erections. What a pity to confine those two glorious specimens within restrictive clothing and then I did a double take at Jasper. _Oh god, Peter is half way to Jasper's knee._

Taking another sip of my drink, I take what I call a 'professional pause', but in reality I have to retrieve my brain from the gutter again. I've never been this bad with clients before.

"Orgasm is, of course, the intense peak of sexual pleasure. The tension, both sexual and muscular, built during the Desire, Excitement, and Plateau phases are released in a series of rapid muscular spasms which are extremely pleasurable to the body. A point is reached where the ejaculation of sperm cannot be stopped and this is known in medical terms as, 'ejaculatory inevitability.' The prostate begins contractions and all the muscles in the pelvic region such as the urethra, anus, and pelvic floor muscles also contract approximately three to six times at about 0.8 seconds apart and, hey presto, you shoot your load!"

One smirk, and one biting of a rather lush bottom lip. Interestingly Jasper is the one who is smirking.

"On a side note, the body also releases 'feel good' endorphins. The bad news is that the Orgasm Phase is the shortest of the five phases, lasting only a minute or so. Damn pity if you ask me! All that build-up for only sixty seconds of fireworks! Definitely a design flaw!"

More chuckles and Jasper is checking Edward out through his long fringe. Edward, poor soul, is trying to discreetly adjust himself. That's the problem with tight pants—nowhere for the Jake the Snake to wander.

"Last is the Resolution Phase. Another great term! Sounds like we've just participated in a school debate rather than some hot satisfying sex, doesn't it?"

Shy nods and two sets of lips firmly in the grasp of teeth.

"During this phase our bodies return to normal. Your erections will soften, your scrotum will relax and your testes will drop away from your body. You will also be sweating. Other things perhaps not quite so noticeable are that your nipples will loosen and soften, and both your heart rate and blood pressure will actually dip to lower than normal before returning to their normal state."

More adjustment by Edward, and Jasper is shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Time to end the lecture bit of our session.

"This is also the phase where a man experiences what is known as the 'refractory period', which is the time it takes a man to have another erection. For you two that period is probably something like fifteen to twenty minutes, tops thirty minutes, but be aware that as you age this period will last longer so enjoy your quick recovery times while you can!" I pause for effect. "With my help I'll soon have you two fucking like bunnies!"

Edward's laughing, Jasper is choking, but it's a good choke, I think.

"Okay, so how are we doing, guys?

"Good," they answer in unison, looking a tad flushed and rather pleased with themselves too, I might add.

"I realize this first session is pretty short _(unlike you guys) _and somewhat daunting and embarrassing, _(though, I think your blushes are adorable)_ but if you put your trust in me you will be richly rewarded." _You'll be coming by the bucket-load._

It was the end of the technical blurb and sadly the end of the session.

More silent communication. Just lovely to witness.

"We're in, Nancy." This from Edward as he stands, Jasper following suit.

"Excellent, now please see Hope More_…" I really must stop calling her by her full name._ "Please see Hope on your way out and schedule an appointment for three days from now."

They nod and turn as one towards the door, and like a cute little choreographed dance, swap the hands that they're each holding.

"Oh, and guys… don't forget, leave those cocks alone. You need to find me five erogenous zones that you've discovered about each other and I am not accepting either the penis or the anus as an answer!"

Edward and Jasper headed towards the door, giggling at my last statement. As they reach it Edward puts his arm around Jasper's shoulders as Jasper winds an arm around Edward's waist. I love the whole dynamic between these two – if it's the last thing I do, I want to help them reach the heights of pleasure that they deserve.

I am brought out of my musings a few minutes later by Hope Morecock, the owner of the most annoying nasally voice you are ever likely to hear, sticking her head around my door. She sounds just like Janice from the hit show, _Friends_. I swear her voice would be better suited to a train station. If it wasn't for her wonderfully evocative name…

"OH, MY GOD! Did you just see those two?"

_Noooooo, I've only just spent the last hour with them with my eyes and ears closed. Dumb bitch._

"Yes, delightful, weren't they?" I say with a fake smile, returning quickly to write up my notes.

_Oh shit, she's coming in._

Putting a hand to her bosom, "I think I'm in love. What I'd do to have a piece of either of those guys."

_Hope by name, Hope by nature, but Morecock from those guys, you ain't a gonna get._

"They're gay, Hope."

"But I can play sandwich… or surely one of them could be converted." She looks longingly into the reception area that they have long since vacated, and sighs.

As much as I love my job and as much as my lady parts squelch at the thought of some clients, especially Edward and Jasper – thinking it and doing something about it are two entirely different things. When demonstrating something, I only touch my clients when absolutely necessary, preferring to take the hand(s) of the partner and guide them over the other's body. The thought of my receptionist/secretary even voicing her hopes towards the boys has my blood boiling. This isn't a dating service.

"HOPE… this is not a dating agency and those boys have come here for help. Make one unprofessional move in their direction and you can consider yourself unemployed."

She stands there for a minute with her mouth open, catching flies, while our eyes keep contact. She is assessing whether I mean what I'm saying – I sure as hell do. For some reason, Edward and Jasper have brought out the protective instinct in me. I feel like the tigress guarding her cubs.

"Yes, ma'aaaaam," is her eventual response as she turns on her high red heels and quickly makes her way back to her desk.

_Don't let the door hit ur ass on the way out. I might add a dildo to it next time – it's the only way you're gonna get any cock in this office._

_~DNGL~_

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**_Well we hope that was fun, oops we mean, educational!_**

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_Please note that we have posted Dr. Nancy GayLove early as both maryhell and bellemeer are supporting the protest against FFn pulling in excess of 2000 fics over the last week or so due to violations of the Ratings Guidelines.  
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_For those unaware of the problems that have occured; the FFn Guidelines currently only offer up to an "M" Rating, which means that every fic that contains an explicit lemon is in breach of them. _

_Any fic containing a lemon should have an "MA" Rating.  
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_To date FFn has not been at all amenable to adding an "MA" Rating, nor opening an offshoot site for a mature audience wanting to be able to read fics containing mature content and themes.  
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_Many authors have decided to leave FFn and move to sites such as TWCS that do allow for a mature audience.  
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_**The protest is calling for a 48 hour ban on FFn commencing at midnight on June 8th.**  
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_Neither maryhell or bellemeer want a bunch of teens dictating what they can or can't read and write, nor do they condone such blatant censorship.**  
**_

_Please consider joining the protest because it is only in numbers that we can convince the administration of FFn to reconsider their stance.  
_

_Think about it - I know if they continue their witch hunt that every fic saved in my favourites list would have to be pulled. _

_TACIE would have to be pulled.  
_

_Hostage would have to be pulled.  
_

_Dakota Skies would have to be pulled.  
_

___Dr. Nancy GayLove would have to be pulled._

**_____What FFn is doing is the equivalent of burning books. Are we going to stand by and let them do that?_**

* * *

_**TO THAT END, TACIE WILL NOT BE UPDATING ON FRI 8TH AS PLANNED.**_


	3. Relax and forget I'm here

**DISCLAIMER: **All the characters from Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. All we own is one Dr. Nancy GayLove… or does she own us?

**HAPPY 20****th**** ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR 30****th**** BIRTHDAY, HARRYTWIFAN, BETA EXTRAORDINAIRE – HERE'S YOUR SECOND INSTALMENT! **

**WE LOVE YOU!  
**

* * *

**CHAPTER 02: Relax and forget I'm here**

The next three days drag by, but finally, the day is here. _WOOHOOOOOOO. _Edward and Jasper aren't the slightest bit feminine, but I can't help but think, 'Here comes Candy and Floss'.

"You're last appointment is here, ma'am."

UUUGGGGHHHH to the nasty, nasally voice from hell, but a wholehearted YESSSSS to the clients from heaven.

Pressing the intercom button, I say, "Please send them in, Miss Morecock."

I hear the boys snicker at the mention of Hope's last name. They are in good spirits – excellent.

They enter my office with a little more confidence than the first time, and make their way to the chairs; Edward with his loud greeting, and Jasper with his small wave. They are dressed pretty much the same as the last time we met.

_Such grace in their movements, I bet watching them in the throes of sex would be like watching the hottest and most erotic ballet ever performed. Oh god, less than thirty seconds in and my naughty brain has already sprung to life. It's like these boys walk in and the automatic brain-in-gutter switch has been flicked._

We exchange a few pleasantries before getting on with business.

"Okaaayy, down to it," I say with a smile. "How was your homework? Have you got five erogenous zones for me?"

Edward gives a resounding, "Yes," and Jasper smiles, nodding his affirmation while a blush creeps up his neck.

"Let's hear them, then… three from you, Edward, two from you, Jasper."

Despite Jasper being shy, it's important to not let him completely hide behind Edward.

They answer alternatively; Edward confidently, Jasper quietly, but both answer with a flushing of their cheeks and a reaction in their pants.

**Neck** _(definitely, a tongue creeping up the artery, open-mouthed kisses)_

**Nipples** _(Ohhhh, they've explored the chest- mmmm… open shirt, pinching, licking, nibbling)_

**Toes** _(not my cup of tea, but hey, whatever floats your boat, and the feet are very sensitive places… just ask the Chinese)_

**Ear lobes** _(MMMMM, earrrrs; flick em with your tongue, nip em with your teeth, and don't forget to suck)_

**Palms** _(unexpected, but welcome. Kissed in the right way and you can be swooning)_

Their answers tell me that they've had a few good make-out sessions, but no real depth of exploration.

"Excellent… well done."

The Naughty Nancy part of me is tempted to quiz them in depth about where and how they've discovered the erogenous zones, but Professional Nancy wins out and I continue in full therapist mode.

"Any part of the body can be an erogenous zone. Any piece of available skin; the back of the neck, eyes, Adam's apple, under the arms, fingers, thighs – especially the inside of the thigh, and, of course, anywhere around the genitalia."

_Mmmm – strong thumbs sliding up the inner thigh to….. Oh God, stop it._

The first thing I have to do is get the boys to relax; otherwise, they will never have the nerve to get intimate within these walls. _And boy do I want them intimate within these walls_. If I can work in a couple of those erogenous zones, too, I'll be happy. I want them leaving my office hot and horny.

"Do you dance?"

They shake their heads, no.

"Dance can be very erotic… in its own way, an erogenous zone. I'm not just talking Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, or something you see performed on a pole. But simply two people swaying together and losing themselves to the music… with your clothes on. Would you like to give it a go?"

Edward looks at Jasper who gives his silent nod of approval.

"Excellent," I say with enthusiasm and a smile.

Opening the drawer-like compartment within my desk reveals the control panel I have to all the 'extra' facilities I have at my disposal. After flicking a couple of switches, the blinds on the windows come down, darkening the room. Soft barely-there wall lights come on, making my office look like a plush lounge. No disco lighting today – maybe another time, but not now.

Getting up from my desk, I hold out my hands to the boys, which they take - _long fingers, soft palms, and a strong grip… gulp._

I lead them to the center of the lounge. "Do you like Bryan Adams?"

"Sure."

_Woohoo – this is __**so**__ gonna work._

"Excellent… now, if you'd like to put your arms around each other, I'll get the music started."

They do as I instruct, with Jasper's arms loosely linked around Edward's neck while Edward's arms are in a similar position around Jasper's waist. In all truthfulness, they look a little awkward, but I guess anyone would that was told to hold onto their partner in the middle of a room and wait.

They both watch me walk over to a completely different part of my office, leaving them as alone as possible.

Putting in my mic and earphones, I give instructions. The sound comes out of a speaker that is closer to them, making them jump a little.

"Listen to the lyrics of the song as much as to the beat of the music and sway from side to side. You may hear me give you small instructions throughout the song, but only listen to me like you would background music. Focus on each other."

They nod their understanding and I press the start button on the CD remote.

As soon as the opening piano chords strike, they relax, smiling, with Jasper immediately looking into Edward's eyes.

Bryan starts to sing and weave his magic and I can't help but silently sing along with him, feeling the music, imagining myself in their position. _ And what a position that is._

**Look into my eyes, you will see  
What you mean to me  
Search your heart, search your soul  
And when you find me there you'll search no more**

They start to sway, eyes locked on each other. _Beautiful._

**Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for  
You know it's true  
Everything I do, I do it for you**

At the last line of the verse, Edward starts to softly sing to Jasper. _OH MY GOD – my heart just melted._

**Look into your heart, you will find  
There's nothin' there to hide  
Take me as I am, take my life  
I would give it all, I would sacrifice**

"Edward, let your fingers glide up Jasper's side."

Jasper immediately clasps his arms tighter around Edward's neck, laying his head on his chest while they sway.

**Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for  
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more  
You know it's true  
Everything I do, I do it for you  
Oh yeah  
**  
**There's no love, like your love  
And no other, could give more love  
There's nowhere, unless you're there  
All the time, all the way, yeah**

There's an instrumental part here, so I use the opportunity. "Edward, release Jasper's shirt from his trousers."  
On release of the shirt, Edward's hands automatically look for skin, _good boy, _one hand going under the shirt while the other lowers to Jasper's ass.

**Look into your heart, baby**

"Jasper, play with Edward's hair."

Jasper's fingers slowly play with the long hair at the back of Edward's neck.

Edward's eyes shut and his head leans back into Jasper's hand.

They pull each other closer and lose themselves to the music. It is so beautiful I almost cry. These boys are the epitome of the beautiful, sensual couple. What started off as awkward is now a sight to behold.

I leave them to their senses.

**Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more  
Yeah, I would fight for you, I'd lie for you  
Walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you**

They're now moving their feet and hips in time to the music. I'm pretty sure; it's not just their hips that have come to life.  
**  
You know it's true  
Everything I do, oh, I do it for you**

**Everything I do, darling**  
**And we'll see it through**  
**Oh we'll see it through**  
**Oh yeah**

**Yeah**!

As the song nears its end, they search deep into the eyes of the other and, oh my fucking God, they kiss. They start with a simple peck, and sucking of lips that develop into open-mouth caresses, their jaws and tongues doing a slow dance of their own.

_Hallelujah, spank me now and send me to heaven. Get me tissues, I need them to either wipe the tears or mop up drool._

**Look into your heart  
You can't tell me it ain't worth dying for  
Oh yeah**

**I'll be there, yeah**  
**I'll walk the wire**  
**Oh, yeah**

**I'm going all the way, all the way, yeah**

The final notes softly fade into nothingness and the boys are still swaying, still kissing, so I quickly cue the next song. It's another Bryan Adam's number; I mean, the guy knows how to write and deliver a love song. If his soul touching lyrics, or his husky, heart-in-his-mouth voice doesn't get you in, you must be dead. In my opinion, anyone who doesn't go to mush and get a lump in their throat at some of his songs needs to check themselves for a pulse, 'cause they sure as hell have no feeling.

**It still feels like our first night together  
Feels like the first kiss  
It's getting better baby  
No one can better this  
Still holding on  
You're still the one  
First time our eyes met  
Same feeling I get  
Only feels much stronger  
I want to love you longer  
Do you still turn the fire on?**

**So if you're feeling lonely, don't  
You're the only one I'll ever want  
I only want to make it good  
So if I love you, a little more than I should**

Not that Edward and Jasper are paying much attention to either Bryan or his music. They're too busy paying attention to each other. Seeing the pair of them so lost in each other, their lips moving sensuously in the oldest dance known to man, has me sighing in pleasure. It truly is one of the most wonderful sights I have ever been fortunate enough to witness. Every part of my body has turned to jello.

**Please forgive me, I know not what I do  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you  
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through  
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do  
Please believe me, every word I say is true  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you  
**  
Right now, I'm doing my own bit of asking for forgiveness—I am enjoying the spectacle of these two beautiful boys connecting with each other all too much. It might be my job to try and help bring this kind of intimacy about, but when you itch to grab a camera to capture it for posterity? Maybe, you like seeing it far too much…

**Still feels like our best times are together  
Feels like the first touch  
We're still getting closer baby  
Can't get closer enough  
Still holding on  
You're still number one  
I remember the smell of your skin  
I remember everything  
I remember all your moves  
I remember you yeah  
I remember the nights, you know I still do  
**  
**So if you're feeling lonely, don't  
You're the only one I'll ever want  
I only want to make it good  
So if I love you a little more than I should**

_Oh, boy, we have a development._ I can scarcely believe it, but Jasper, my sweet, shy Quaker boy, has tugged Edward's tee over his head and tucked it into his own back pocket. God, my heart is pounding!

**Please forgive me, I know not what I do  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you  
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through  
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do  
Please believe me, every word I say is true  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you  
**

Edward, with a drop-dead sexy smirk, reciprocates and suddenly I have two bare-chested Adonises in my office. Not surprisingly, they are just gorgeous. Toned and sculpted like Greek statues—one all golden ivory, one creamy alabaster.

_Dear Sweet Lord, Panties, let me introduce you to the floor._

_Please believe me, you pair are just too good to be true_, I'm silently singing,_ Please forgive me, I can't stop watching you._ I can't help raising my eyes to the ceiling, certain that either Bryan or God is going to strike me with a bolt of lightning and turn me into a pile of ash for my sacrilegious ad-libbing.

**The one thing I'm sure of  
Is the way we make love  
The one thing I depend on  
Is for us to stay strong  
With every word and every breath I'm praying  
That's why I'm saying,**

Their hips are swaying, their groins grinding, their hands are caressing, and their lips are worshipping… and I'm gripping the edge of my desk to stop myself from sinking into a puddle on the floor. I'm sure that at this moment in time, the only hard thing in my office is the boner the boys are undoubtedly supporting. I've seen that grind many times before and it shouts "fire in the hold". Unfortunately, being of the female gender, my girly bits weren't doing anything quite as spectacular. In fact, I'd go so far as to say they were working against me, leaving me with a soggy mini-pad that was just about dragging my panties to my ankles. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be able to sprout a boner myself—at least I could prop it on the desk to help keep me balanced and upright. **  
**  
**Please forgive me, I know not what I do  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you  
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through  
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do  
Babe believe it, every word I say is true  
Please forgive me, if I can't stop loving you  
No, believe me, I don't know what I do  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you**

**I can't stop, loving you**

Once again, the notes fade into the air as I watch as the boys slowly come back to earth. Jasper's eyes widen to see that both he and Edward are bare-chested; he seems surprised by the fact. As I continue to quietly study them, I can see a flush slowly creep up his neck and into his cheeks.

Rubbing his thumbs gently over Jasper's now rosy cheeks, Edward leans in and places a chaste kiss on Jasper's slightly swollen lips.

Hugging Jasper close, almost hiding him within his arms and protecting their 'reactions', Edward turns his head to me and grins a little shyly, "Umm, it would seem we got a little carried away, Nancy."

_Time to speak, Nancy! Find your voice, girl._ I part my lips. My tongue feels thick and cumbersome. Nothing's happening. _Come on, woman, move your tongue. You're a professional. Form a word. _And still nothing…_ Fucking hell, say something! _"Not at all, Edward. For our sessions together to work, I need you both to relax, trust me, and even forget I am here sometimes." _Hallelujah, there is a God! I even sound half way normal!_

"Well, in that case, I think we may be 'A' students today!" he chuckles, while Jasper somehow manages to burrow in even closer to Edward's chest, burying his face into his shoulder. At first I'm concerned, but then I see his shoulders shaking—he's laughing, God bless his sweet shy soul.

"I think you may be right, Edward," I say, biting the inside of my mouth to stop myself from giggling. "And just let me say, I do so love to hand out 'A' Grades, so bring your, umm, 'A' game next week too, boys!"

* * *

**PLEASE NOTE THAT AS OF _CHAPTER THREE_ WE WILL BE POSTING _THE TEACHINGS OF DR. NANCY GAYLOVE_ ON TWCS.**

**IT CAN BE FOUND UNDER BOTH PENNAMES; _bellemeer_ AND _maryhell_**


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